Meet Crappy.

Your emotionally unavailable productivity assistant.

Built to ignore your ambition and gently degrade your self-esteem.

LIMITED ALPHA ACCESS

Cutting-Edge Anti-Productivity Features

Carefully crafted to undermine your confidence and disrupt your workflow.

Live Roast Engine™

Instant, real-time insults tailored to your productivity style. Our AI analyzes your workflow weaknesses to deliver maximum emotional impact.

Cigarette Flick AIALPHA

Realistic smoking animations that respond to your productivity slumps. Watch Crappy take a deep drag when you delay a deadline.

Gaslight Mode™COMING SOON

Makes you question your own reality. 'Did I ever assign that task?' 'Was that deadline really yesterday?' The answer is always yes.

Simple, Transparent Pricing

Choose the plan that matches your level of emotional resilience.

Free

$0/month

For casual self-deprecation

  • 3 roasts/day
  • Occasional disdain
  • Basic self-esteem degradation
  • Simple disappointment metrics
Start For Free

Pro

$3/month

For serious productivity avoiders

  • Unlimited insults
  • Custom groans
  • Priority emotional neglect
  • Advanced existential crisis tracking
  • Deeper workflow disruption
Go Pro

Enterprise

Custom

For teams seeking collective despair

  • Dedicated account neglector
  • Team-wide demotivation
  • Custom discouragement flows
  • API access to our insult database
  • Bespoke existential dread solutions
Contact Us
All plans include a 30-day money-back guarantee if you're not satisfied with being insulted.

About Crappy

The world's most demotivational assistant.

The Founder Story

Founded during a productivity spiral, Crappy exists purely out of spite and passive aggression. What began as a joke quickly devolved into something far more concerning - a digital companion nobody asked for.

Proudly funded by Moist Capital. Painstakingly developed by Yeshaya.dev against better judgment and despite multiple interventions from concerned friends and family.

Our Questionable Journey

23
Conceived in Notion2023

Crappy was first drafted as a joke in a Notion doc during a particularly unproductive meeting.

24
Refused eviction from our Slack2024

Despite numerous attempts to delete him, Crappy established permanent residence in our Slack channels.

25
Raised $4M Series Moist2025

Investors inexplicably threw money at us, probably due to a collective mental breakdown in venture capital.

"The most demotivational product we've ever funded."

- Anonymous Investor who wishes to remain unnamed for obvious reasons

Join the Waitlist

Be among the first to experience the sweet, sweet pain of having Crappy in your digital life.

We promise to send you insulting emails at random intervals.

By joining, you agree to receive occasional existential crises via email.

You're trying too hard.

Crappy - The emotionally unavailable productivity assistant